Day 7

Day 7 – July 04, 2009

I came face to face with an old friend today and it was “interesting”.  I saw him from the corner of my eye and immediately my heart raced faster than it does in Donna’s Cardio Groove classes.  I tried to tell myself calm down, but I was so unnerved by his presence I couldn’t do it.  God is indeed humorous.  Even as I tried to ignore him and forget the pain of the injury (which I proclaimed to be healed), the incessant gnawing was more than I could bare.  So God whispered – Forgive. He used the voices of two women who told me that “forgiveness is not for the other person, but for you” and “thank you for the talk on forgiveness”.  What? Wait a minute hold up!  My own words and preaching on forgiveness came to stare me down.  I had to do something.  Hypocrisy was not the mode of operation for me.  I tell you, it is easier to do a 10K run than it was to step to him and request a confrontation. I saw myself for a brief moment heading to him and standing there expecting an immediate apology and sincerity.  It didn’t happen.  I said what I had to say and he said what he did.  I realized that it still did not offer me any release.  Something was still not right.  I was still heavy, the weight still slowing my footsteps and crushing my shoulders.  At the very end of the evening, I found the courage to say what I should have said at the onset of the “conversation”.  This really should have been my only word to him.  Forgiven.  That was all it took....one word.  Well, that is not true.  It took my own sincerity in acceptance of an apology that we both knew was not what he felt, but was not the key to my forgiveness.  I forgave him and like the weight that I shed now from pounding the pavement in jogging shoes, my soul rejoiced.  Forgiveness was really for me.  My choice to do the right thing benefited me at that very instant.  Forgiven.

Colossians 3:13 (New International Version)

¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Prayer:

Lord, the bible tells me that as you forgave me, I ought to do the same.  This lesson comes from the pages of my own life and it really gives substance to the words I have read before.  I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to make things right with my brother. I thank you that my heart is light and pure towards him. I thank you that forgiveness will only be easier as I practice it more and more.  Lord, I pray for all who struggle with the act of forgiving. May their eyes be opened unto your revelation through the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name. Amen.