Another day

I have decided to stop counting the days. I feel the numbers add only to the length of this and I took no pleasure in seeing it. I had a melt down.  Based on the last time I wrote - that was a bad day. Sigh.  I started to walk again.  Even that simple activity was hard after so much time of inactivity.  My legs were sore and my breath came in little spurts that inhibited conversation.  I remarked at how easy a walk around my neighburood used to be.  I have never before taken such a long break from excercising.  I don't recommend it...not to anyone.  Get moving, before you lose it. Excercise does have immense benefits - and it isnt just weight loss.  I was happy as I forced my legs to move in the right way - right then left.  The day was beautiful on my first walk out. The smell of spring was evident and the blue skies seemed even more blue if it  were possible. I was just thrilled to be doing something once again.  That in itself was my reward.  My schedule continues to be an inhibitor to my excercise regime but where there is a will, there is a way. I have a will. 

I woke up yesterday talking to God about the ridiculous choices i have made. I wondered aloud what to do next.  I believe I have found the answer, hold on to the One who is faithful.  I cant do this walk alone; I admitt it.  But He can help me. 

 

 

Hebrews 10:23 (New International Version, ©2011)

²³ Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Prayer
Lord, here I am holding on with all my might.  Father you are faithful to do that which you have promised. You promised me that you will give me the desires of my heart and my hearts desire is to be healthy.  Father you are faithful in all things...no word from you will ever fail.  So in you Oh Lord, do I trust. You are the hope that i profess, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Day 13

Day 13– March 4, 2011

Today I thought of why this particular battle rages on in my life.  Why, I asked of the Lord, am I not the one who is able to eat anything and walk around looking like I do marathons for fun?  I thought was it from my Dad?  Is this actually a genetic disposition that pre-determined my body weight, shape and size?  Could it be that there is a finger that should be pointing away from me?  Sigh.  I gazed at my body last night.  It was unfamiliar to the eyes and the touch.  What was wrong?  My usually well toned legs looked like they belonged on someone else’s body. I was disheartened and crawled into my bed assuming the fetal pose of defeat.  This is just not fair!!! Why? Why? Why?  Why does it have to be so hard?  I hate this!  In the morning, I awoke to the words Paul wrote how many years ago in 1 Timothy 4:8…physical exercise does have some benefit.   In my crazy routine that was the missing element.  I have always exercised – even a little.  Ask anyone who really knows me and they will tell you – if nothing else I exercise; whether I am sweating to Taebo, Kick Boxing or “X ing” it with Tony Horton (whom I just love).  But since the ending of last year and the beginning of this year no workout regime has inspired me. Instead I spend my days at work, and my nights with a book for school or pleasure. That was my insight and great revelation.  I need to exercise.  I need to schedule it in – if it is indeed a priority for me.  My excuse cards have to be tossed and I have to make time for what is important.  Toned legs of steel?  Yes, that is important to me. 

1 Timothy 4:8 (New King James Version)

8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

Prayer:

Lord, this is hard for me. It really is, and I am often tempted to throw in towel and just give up.  I rationalize this thinking and attitude saying that this must be your will for me to be over weight.  But Lord, your word tells me clearly that exercising has benefit. You want me to be healthy. You want me to have a better quality of life.  Forgive me Lord, for not being more consistent in this area of my life.  I know this body is not mine, but it is a temple and I have been treating like a fast food restaurant – disregarding what I eat and what I do (or not do).  I pray today Lord that you will show me the right way to do this thing.  I am tired at this phase of the journey, but you promise to be with me still.  Fortify me oh Lord I pray. In Jesus’ name, Amen.